Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A Short Quiz Part I

This quiz will determine whether or not you are eligible to work for the New Hampshire Department of Transportation (NHDOT). As you are taking the quiz, keep a tally of your score (A = 0, B = 1, C = 2).

Question 1: Because you live in the godforsaken state of New Hampshire, the roads must be repaved virtually every year. It is your job to repave a major section of the highway, used by commuters everyday as well as being vital to ensuring that people from better states can pass through NH as quickly as possible. It will take four (4) days to complete the job. When do you schedule the work?

A) During the weekends, and during the night to minimize congestion and the chance of accidents on the highway.
B) During the weekends, and during the day because your employees complained about being awake past 10pm.
C) Starting on the first day of the workweek, from 8am to 6pm in order to insure maximum efficiency in keeping anyone from getting anywhere.

Question 2: You are in charge of stopping drunk rednecks and teens in spray painted Acuras from killing the road workers during their Sisyphean endeavor to make NH roads navigable. Who do you hire to stand on the side of the road and act as a human traffic cone?

A) Same kind of people doing the road work ($25,000/year/person) "It beats actually working."
B) Your buddies ($30,000/year/person) "Sweet gig!"
C) A police officer ($40,000+/year/person) "If I wear my aviators and cross my arms, I look badass!"

Bonus: Award yourself an extra point if you complained about government waste after choosing option C).

Question 3 (final question!): Complete the following sentence: Helmets and seat belts are...

A) ... important safety devices that have saved countless lives over the years.
B) ... something to be put on only after being nagged to do so (or when legally required).
C) ... symbols of a tyrannical government attempting to take away our precious freedoms.

Now tally your points and read the scoring guide below.

0-2: The NHDOT does not require your talents at this time.
3-4: Other state DOTs may be interested in you, or you may be 11 years old.
5-6: You qualify for Social Security because of your obvious mental disability, or you are a perfect fit for the NHDOT. Welcome!